Didi

Didi was a good man.
A chef for the king,
Who could make anything.

He’d turn a Lima bean,
Or a simple pea,
Into a speciality.

The court was well fed,
And likewise the king,
Cause Didi’s food had the zing.

Until the merriest of all,
Great parties for the sire,
Was due to transpire.

But, when Didi sat
To commence the feast,
All at once, it ceased.

Cause a witch’s spell
Aimed at Didi’s seat,
Turned his hands to feet.

All the court gasped,
And were irritated,
Cause the hag dissipated.

What was her motive,
For this wicked deed
On poor Didi, indeed?

Our king had his rivals,
In each cranny and nook.
But why pick on the cook?

Our liege still had to eat.
And Didi tried his best,
Though his food failed the test.

His meals where too lumpy,
Or distastefully sweet,
All due to his four feet.

And if our lord swallowed,
He had iffy digestion,
Leading to indigestion.

Until the king declared.
“We must search the land
To find Didi’s two hands.”

“This task’s fraught with danger.
Only men, strong and hearty,
Can join my questing party.”

“What about me, dear king?”
Didi cried aloud.
“Can I join that crowd!”

“Of course you can.
We may find the witch,
Half dead in a ditch.”

So the intrepid posse
Searched all towns and woods.
And Didi cooked best he could.

But after many months,
Death took its course
On both knight and horse.

Until only two remained.
The king, at a slow stride,
With poor Didi by his side.

His lord cried with pain,
But the need to eat
Kept him from defeat.

Then, the witches shack was found.
The king was first to talk,
“Didi, I can’t even walk.”

With another strive he said,
“You’ll have to go alone,
Cause this fight is now your own.”

But Didi had a plan.
“Sire, jump upon my back,
We’ll mount a fierce attack!”

With a whoop, then a charge,
As strong as two or more,
Didi burst through the door.

But the wary witch,
Vanished in a cape
Effecting her escape.

“Oh Didi, all is lost.”
The monarch was distraught.
But Didi quickly thought.

“I think I know where she went,
So hold tight to my saddle.
She hasn’t won the battle.”

And then Didi said,
“She’ll make her getaway
To where it’s dark everyday.

But she’ll have to cross
Through the sunny side,
Where her powers slide.

As shady as a shadow,
She’ll adorn her magic charm
Forever safe from harm.

And that would be most tragic,
So let’s make haste.
There’s no time to waste.”

Near the light-dark border,
Where, as they expected,
The witch was detected.

And for two bright miles
Just as she had feared
Her magic almost disappeared.

So she had to act
And just near the edge
She turned into ledge.

And Didi came trotting,
But the ridge was too steep,
And he tumbled in a heap.

The witch saw her chance,
Oh, but how dare her,
Turn Didi into a mirror.

And just like that
Our brave, heroic cook
Was flatter than a book.

But she forgot the king
Who was a little better,
And hastened in to get her.

And taken by surprise,
She fell to her knees
And begged mercy, please!

But the king wouldn’t hear it,
And held his sword high,
To pierce her in the eye.

But she had some more tricks,
Since not quite in full sun,
She changed the sword’s direction.

And all of a sudden,
The king cried in dismay.
The sword’s point an inch away.

Our heroes’ fate looked dire.
Since evil got her way,
Would they see another day?

Poor Didi could not stop her.
In anger he wriggled a bit,
And the sun reflected a hit!

Direct upon the old witch,
Who, in agony screamed,
While bursting at the seems.

Into a ball of fire,
That wasn’t orange or red,
But opposite instead.

It was a dark, icy fire
That was black as night
And froze everything in sight.

Nonetheless, she vanished
As normal smoke would,
And all thawed as they should.

Yeah, our fair Didi.
No longer plain old glass,
Became a hero, at last.

Once again he was the cook,
Who filled the court with laughter,
And lived happily ever after.

Train Track Tale

Cold steel road, rusted and old
Crammed with tales, most never told
Though each spiked tie did convey
Countless stories in its day

We gaze toward infinity
Where they end is a mystery
Instead we listen for a sign
A sudden breeze comes from behind

"Is the train going to come?"
I respond to my son
"It has passed us by you see
Freighting only memories

Let's walk halfway to the end
Step-by-step we will pretend
That we are the mighty train
Giving life to these rails again."

Litchfield's Race

Today's the Litchfield Hill's race
Where good runners try to chase
The lead pack
Though will lack
Keeping a five minute pace.

Tricky Ricky 1

Tricky Ricky didn't finish his math
And deathly afraid of the teacher's wrath
He avoided abuses
With clever excuses
But all were sucked into the tornado's path

Unicorn

When queuing up for something fine
And a Unicorn likes what you're eyeing
Just let him cut
To save your butt
And soon he'll be in front of the line.

Jacky Ann Jill

My old love Jacky Ann Jill
Was quite a tale telling pill
Reciting lines
From Nursery Rhymes
With punch lines ending in thrills.

Clyde Clutz 2

Did you here about Clyde Clutz today
He tried to think of something to say
But got a sprain
Inside his brain
And each word only came out halfway.